Several of my friends have watched the movie of controversial celebrity and presidential daughter Kris Aquino. They said that the movie was nicely done; but that they all seem to have agreed that it might give the wrong notion that the life of a mistress despite of the difficulties is a glamorous life. On top of it, they all said that it might connote that once you leave the relationship mistresses will most likely have a good life such as the movie has portrayed.
Now, as a Feng Shui blogger, I have received several emails, text messages, and calls about wives whose husband has a mistress, or mistresses that are having problems with their partners or with the family of the partner. Trust me when I say that I have heard both sides.
In our society, it is easy to take sympathy to the wife and condemned the mistress. But the truth as in everything, it is not always black and white. I’m not condoning mistresses but there are times that a mistress is as much as a victim as a wife and also sometimes beneath the uncomfortable set – up they are really the protagonist. However, I’ve also seen and talked to many wives (not to mention their children) who have suffered so much because of mistresses. What I’m saying is judgment should not be easily passed and if possible it should only be passed once we have truly understand all sides of the people involved.
However, let me say something, that in Taoism and Buddhism and Feng Shui, being a wife whose husband has a mistress, or being a mistress, and even being a husband who has a mistress has some reasons. It can be karmic; it can be because of a flaw on your Feng Shui or bazi. But that doesn’t these things make it right, but it doesn’t mean that it makes it wrong either.
One of the basic precepts of Buddhism is NO SEXUAL MISCONDUCT, while technically speaking in Buddhism there is no marriage in the strictest sense of the word, having sexual relationship with a person you don’t love or out of lust or physical attraction or money counts for sexual misconduct. Furthermore, although there is no wedding or marriage in the strictest sense of the word, sexual relationships out of marriage or extra – marital affairs are considered sexual misconduct.
Does this mean that a mistress is bad? To answer that I would like to say that both in Taoism and Buddhism a person is not judged by its actual and final action but by its deepest and most sincere intentions. There is a big difference between being a mistress because you want a comfortable life and love a married man, as being a mistress because you truly are in – love and truly believes that what is happening won’t hurt anyone. In Taoism and Buddhism, no one can judge but fate and we are all judged by our deepest intentions.
However, I would like to post some Etiquette for Mistresses in asking for help thru Feng Shui or amulets to better your situations:
- Admit that you are a mistress and trust that if you are talking to the right person you shall not be judge.
- Do not white wash the situation. Just state the situation, as it is base on your side.
- Do not speak for the guy. Do not say that he had you because the wife is evil, which leads to the next etiquette.
- Do not speak ill about the wife to help better your position because the bazi or the chart will show the truth anyway.
- Acknowledge your situation and accept it.
- Realize that sometimes it is really not your fault. That what you have may be really true.
- Most important of all, while you may ask for an amulet to better your situation, do not ask for the world’s most powerful amulet like the Vajrapani Ruel because you want your partner to leave his wife, or you want the wife dead.
Writing this because I have had so many encounters with mistresses who ask for amulets and wishes the wife of their partner ill. While it is not wrong to help better your situation be it due to the fact that your partner is really miserable with his wife and that it will help everybody if they simply separated, it is wrong to ask for an amulet simply because you want them to get separated so you can be the legitimate one.
Again, there is no judgment, I know that in some cases a mistress is really the one that is loved and deserves to be the number one. I have one or two readers who consulted me that in my honest opinion base on their charts they are really destined to be with their partners. But in the end, this should not be abuse, and that in the end no can judge and decide if this is the case except the people involve and fate.
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