Is There Winning in Losing?

Published January 19, 2016 by jptan2012

A famous Irish author and screenwriter, David Landy, who wrote the Skulduggery Pleasant, which is a series of young adult books, wrote, “There’s no such thing as winning or losing. There is won and there is lost; there is victory and defeat. There are absolutes. Everything in between is still left to fight for.” This for me is such a cutthroat statement and if we are to base everything with this statement, it means that we are either winners or losers.

Winners or losers, I think most of us only think and associate ourselves very clearly as either winners or losers. It means we either has to win a thing, because otherwise we are then losers. Nobody wants to be losers. But what is really winning?

A reader turned friend who is a successful businesswoman shared with me something quite profound, and I now would like to share this with you.

I’m sure a lot of you will remember BM. She is a reader from Davao that has been featured on this blog for a number of times. You can read some of my posts about her here:

  1. Devastating Feng Shui Blunder Didn’t Affect the People Living in the Said House: A Story Of A Good Person With Good Karma!
  2. Unexpected High Sales Attributed to the Surangama Mantra Amulet.
  3. What’s Even More Powerful or Important than Feng Shui or an Amulet?
  4. Be Grateful for Miracles No Matter How Small.

For those who are not yet familiar with her, BM is a successful businesswoman with a very good heart. I will not go into details again of the things that she do for her nephews and other family, and employees, and other people. Needless to say, she has a very generous charitable heart and I believe this largely contributed to her tremendous luck, despite of having a house whose Feng Shui is quite bad. When reviewing her home’s Feng Shui, my Feng Shui teacher was really surprised to find out that the owner of the house is a successful businesswoman. When I explained her status in life, my Feng Shui teacher concluded that BM should have a good heart for her to survive what should have been devastating bad Feng Shui.

The other day, BM and I were talking on the phone, I really don’t remember what we were talking about but we got to talk about dealing with employees. That conversation lead to dealing with difficult employees, and it was in the process of this conversation that BM shared what she used to get angry when she feels like that somebody was trying to cheat her. However, BM said as she has matured she realized that sometimes it’s not important that we ‘win’ in every situation because there are times that it is more important to empower others than ensuring that we win a situation. Sometimes it is better to keep our mouth shut even if we know that the other person is trying to take advantage of us, because even these people will know deep down that we are simply being nice.

BM concluded by saying ‘there is winning in losing’!

I realized that she is right, there is winning in losing. The real winner is someone who can make everybody win and create a situation wherein there are no losers. And so I salute BM for giving me this valuable lesson. I hope we all learn something from this.

And so I would like to humbly say to Derek Landy, there are no absolutes in winning and losing. It’s possible that there is no won and loses. Furthermore, it is possible that there is victory and no defeat. But what is more important is how one make a person feels and how can one create a situation where we are all winners.

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