Still Thoughts: A Time to Meditate and Reflect (A Temporary Goodbye)

Published April 20, 2015 by jptan2012

A lot of people have been sending me emails and text messages asking as to why I haven’t posted anything for quite awhile, and a lot of them wants me to write something.

Well…while this is not the very last post that you’ll ever get to read for a long time, this is the last post that I’m going to write. This is also the hardest one I’m ever going to write. As the title of this post mention, I think it is high time that I really go back to my meditations and reflect on things, and to still my thoughts. To do that I really need to temporarily say goodbye. As I said, this is the last post that I’m going to write before I go on a reflection mode, but because I have already written about 15 articles in the past, they will be posted via time scheduled posting method. Meaning they will be automatically posted.

This blog has been good to me. Because of this I gained more friends, but lately it also gained me some detractors and enemies.

But the question is why I’m taking a leave from blogging and still my thoughts?

A lot of people have been asking as to why the title of this blog is ‘Sana Ako Si Ricky Lee’. That is because when I started blogging I never intend for this to become a Feng Shui blog. I just want to be able to write. To have an outlet of the things I want to share. Then I posted an article about Feng Shui, then the rest was history, My blog became a Feng Shui blog, and one of the most widely read blog at that. And while I intend it to be just a hobby and a past time, the emails I received became unmanageable that it felt like that it has become my main profession.

This blog has also made me happy because of this, as mentioned, I did gained a lot of friends and with all sincerity I do believe that I was able to help a lot of people along the way.

Although overwhelming I still didn’t have any idea of how popular the blog was until I got several request from other bloggers, Feng Shui consultants, amulet online stores to advertise on my blog or tie up with them. I declined all of them because it was never my intention to make the blog become a commercial one. It is still a personal blog. Not for business.

Simultaneously, people began to request for the pendants that I designed. To be completely honest, I was initially reluctant to make this pendant available to readers because I know it will be quite difficult to manage it, not to mention very time consuming because I have to count the basket of elements of each reader who send requests for the pendant. But because it was self – designed, and seeing how it has helped people, I did made it available to readers.

Maybe this was one of my biggest mistakes, because the already unmanageable emails became even more unmanageable. Took more requests that I can handle and lost track of some of the records (although my jeweler and I was able to keep the birthdates, I lost the master list where the names and contact details are recorded). To make the long story, there were delays. This together with the hectic schedule of my business, in hindsight, it is totally foreseeable that it will be chaotic. But I believe that the single most problems is that I was not able to fully understand and internalize my responsibilities to my readers and for the people who requested fro the pendant. In my heart, while I know I have a responsibility, I also sincerely felt that the responsibility is limited only to being an ordinary hobby – blogger. No professionalism involved. I also became irritable against people who will continuously send me emails, and unconsciously got the habit of ignoring repeated emails to the point that Gmail will just block their emails or automatically send them to spam.

Several readers became very in contented with what’s happening to the point that they have to drastically get my attention to it. The first time I encountered it, I didn’t know that what they did was a good thing, but now I truly believe that it was a good thing. I consulted my Guru Lama, and he told me to he go on a blog rest for me to have time to still my thoughts again. Although I still do my mantras daily, one thing that this blog has taken away from me is to go on a regular daily meditation to help still my thought and do a short reflection everyday. This is quite important, because doing meditation everyday will help a person keep focus and not lose track of its purpose and goal, something that I have lost.

I did maintain contact with several readers all throughout my blogging, even when I was busy, but this is mostly readers that I have karmic affinity with, those who I don’t have affinity were left to wait and wait and wait for my response and for me to deliver on my promise when I happen to chance upon their email or text messages. This is wrong. Very wrong. Several of them really needs my help or a simple response, but because I was busy I failed to do that.

As instructed by my Guru Lama, I should attend to these readers, and with all humility and sincerity I did, sometimes personal business schedule still prevents me from being punctual but I still sincerely exerted all efforts, leaving out only the unreasonable bullies and unreasonable requests or fake requests. As per my Guru Lama that I should write about the ‘goodbye’ article first which is this article before I post all the articles I have written so that in that way I can already forewarned readers early on that I’m taking a blog break even before they’re unable to read any post.

But one other very important instruction of my Guru Lama is for me take a contemplation retreat, which I already did, and stop blogging for me to go back to meditation and daily reflection. He said, I can still continue blogging because there is no denying the good that this blog has done, again I say that with all humility, because even the readers who felt that I have not attended to my commitments to them said that I should continue with this blog. So continue I will but I will go on a blog break first. For how long? I don’t know. I will consult with my Guru Lama as to when I should go back. But as instructed by my Guru Lama also, while I should stop writing for a while, I should still continue to post the approximately 15 articles I have written, and those will be posted, as mentioned, via automatic scheduled posting. Every 2 days or so.

I WILL ALSO CONTINUE TO CHECK MY EMAIL EVERY WEEK TO ANSWER EMAILS. BUT PLEASE IF IT’S NOT VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE REFRAIN FROM EMAILING ME, THIS IS TO GIVE ME THE TIME TO ANSWER ALL THE EMAILS THAT ARE URGENT OR THOSE THAT REALLY NEEDS MY ATTENTION. Please before emailing me do try to search my blog first, by using the search engine found on the upper right hand side of my blog to check whether your question can be answered by one of my blog posts.

In the meantime, while I’m taking a break from blogging to help refocus and still my thoughts, do enjoy in the next days the articles that I have written which will be posted via automatic scheduled posting. Several of these articles are about Basic Buddhism.

Until then, thank you for taking this journey with me, thank you to the people who have send me encouraging emails and for those who trusted me with their problems, thank you to the readers that have become my friends along the way you all know who you are, and most of all thank you to the people who have thought me a valuable lesson on kindness, and compassion, your first names shall be mentioned here – Christian, Daff, Sheina, Emily, Thea, Cathy, San, Sam, Sarah, Ernest, you are all a teacher to me.

The first of the bank articles is scheduled to be posted tomorrow.

Goodbye for now. This is a temporary halt and looking forward to connecting with all of you again.

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